Stay and lie

I'm so tired of being called beautiful and amazing and talented.  Why would you leave me then?  Please spare me the thought of you believing I'm something special.  Instead be honest with yourself and me.  Don't just say things to make me stay or to win the girl.  Don't leave me and come back.  If I wasn't enough for you to stay, then I'm not enough for you to come back. Then you change your mind.   You want me now.  And I'm still a mess, trying to pick myself up.  It's not the same.  I didn't make it hard, you just needed to stay.  Everything you said about how great and perfect I was means nothing now.  This could have been special and real. You decided to leave me.

 I was all broken then, now I'm better.  I can tell I wasn't seeing you clearly.  I was dreaming of a happy ending.  Reality comes seeping in, as it always does.  My eyes are kept open.  I'm no longer in a dream.  Wide awake, I can see you clearly now.  I'm trying to scrape off the images of us. You know when you held onto me so gently that letting go of me was simple.  You barely left a fingerprint. What a skill you have of stringing me along.  It seems your goal was to never make me feel satisfied and to not let me leave. You did just enough to keep me in the middle. Oh no, did you get off balance? Did the scale tip too far? If you ever could give a straight answer maybe I'd ask you. All I know is I'm here writing down all this, and you are in bed probably distanced from the memories of me, the girl you called perfect and amazing and talented. The same girl you left and came back for. I'm still the same the girl, maybe just a little better off. You didn't stay, neither did I.